I understand Trauma Living.
It sucks.
However, it can be a process of growth, if you allow it.
It can help you mature, or it can destroy you.
I know what it is like to feel like an elephant is standing on my chest, not able to breathe.
I wanted victory, but felt defeat.
I wanted to be brave, but felt so weak.
I wanted to conquer, to be a warrior princess, but felt fear and apathy. The things that once brought me joy made me feel so deflated. Nothingness, sometimes I felt nothing.
In this last year I have been able to see myself and the journey over the last nine years
I made huge errors. I did stupid, destructive things out of emptiness, hoping to just feel again. I felt completely alone.
But feelings are just that, feelings, and they aren’t always the truth. Sometimes feelings are all about survival mode as your brain and emotions are working out all that you are experiencing.
Your brain and body are working to keep you whole and they work to keep your heart from breaking.
One thing I did not do is stop, I did not quit living this life.
If you are in a trauma life situation, may I recommend:
*When you need to cry, let it out. Be sad and cry, scream, yell, curse, and get those feelings out. Bottling them up just leads to extremes. Sadness or anger are not pretty after being bottled up.
*Many of us put on a game face to function. I had kids watching, I had a business to run, I had people relying on me. It is acceptable to tell your trusted peeps that you are not okay. If they know you at all, they already know you aren’t okay. Might as well be open about it.
*Go easy on yourself. You may do dumb things just to cope. You may hurt others out of your own pain or coping mechanisms. It’s good to say, “I am not myself right now.” “I am sorry.” Forgive yourself as well.
*Forgive others. Watching others go through trauma is so uncomfortable for many. They avoid it like the plague! Many say and do dumb things. May favorite was, “You look so good!” Yeah, I took a shower today, lol!
It shouldn’t be this way. We are made to bind one another’s wounds. This should be a qualified, tangible thing. If we did this, there would be a much softer version of trauma living. Know that many are ill equipped or unable or unwilling to go deep and meet you where you are. Carrying unforgiveness will only compound the trauma. Those you truly need will be there for you. Take note of those people. They are the real deal, so embrace them and bring them close.
*Put one foot in front of the other. I know it’s tempting to stay alone, stay in bed, and there are small windows for that place of rest. But remember it is a place of rest, and not a permanent place to live. Keep on keeping on in life.
*Grab the elbows of those whom you love, those with whom you like how they live. Let them lift you.
*Remember this is the land of the living. Count your blessings and be grateful. Find those things! They exist! Connect with your body and start there. You can think good thoughts, you can take deep breaths, you can feel your heart beat, you can feel things like grass under your feet and sunshine on your skin. Stay grounded in the truth of this life and that it is GOOD! (If I can say that after the many losses in my life, so can YOU!)
*There is a time to think of the past, live in the present, and plan for the future. Don’t get super stuck in anyone of these places. Each deserves it time.
*As my daddy used to say, “This, too, shall pass.” I used to hate it when he said that because I wanted to hold and caress the trauma! But he was right. Trauma will pass if we allow it to.
*Use great tools to help you live! I love very targeted strategies, techniques, and tools that support spirit, mind, and body. Even if you do just one, celebrate it and be consistent with that one, and add the next one when ready. (HUGE fan of specific essential oils that help with trauma and emotions. There is major science behind this and my kids and I KNOW that this works!)
*Ask for help: I know, I know, it’s hard for me to as well. No one loves asking for help. But it is better to give than receive and SOMEONE has to give! You are being a blessing by asking. Don’t forget professionals! There are many types of practitioners out there. (I am a certified practitioner in one type of Trauma release. There are so many options!)
*Have faith, not fear. Fear serves a purpose to protect us, but an over abundance of fear is unhealthy. Keep the faith that you are designed to overcome trauma. Know that it is a journey. Know that you will become more because of it. This may take intentional practice of saying the truth out loud, in your head, and writing it down.
*When able, use the experience to help others. Join support groups, share your story, be kind to those going through trauma. We are here for a greater good, to love and serve others. You will know when the time comes to do this.
Know that I believe in you. I know that you will come through your trauma. You will be forever changed, and there is good coming for you again. Your soul light will shine brightly as it was created to do. You will process put some of the ugly and foolishness that existed and of which you weren’t aware. Bless and release that and rise higher.
My heart knows that you are amazing, you are stronger than you know, you have a hope and a future, and you will one day look back and see this bittersweet trauma time with gratefulness as to who it crafted you to become.
You are loved, held, and guided through your trauma living more than you realize.
Love,
Julianne
