Reflections on marriage after the death of a spouse.

It’s my 4th anniversary single and I did a lot of reflecting when I took myself to the beach 🏖

Marriage isn’t easy for anyone. It’s takes work and commitment, loyalty and dedication, seriousness and a whole lot of fun!

I learned so much being married and wouldn’t have traded this experience for anything. It brought me pain and heartache, joy, love, and tremendous growth.

I must say I love it all. Even unto death do us part.

I wouldn’t be who I am today without these years and I honor every bit of it.

Tomorrow I will give my thoughts on being single again as every August 1st is a new beginning for me.

Thoughts on marriage:

Always Love above all else. It’s the highest frequency and secret sauce to a relationship. Love is learned and takes self sacrifice, knowledge, exercise, patience, repetition, you get the picture. You can never give enough of it or get enough of it.

Be 110% in. Commitment is real. We do NOT fall in or out of Love. Feelings wax and wane, it is when they wane that you dig in and do the hard work, sometimes angry, sometimes sad, sometimes without feeling, sometimes easily, sometimes it’s very hard.

Give it time.

Choose to do the next right thing.

Give the tough stuff time.

You will fail! I failed a million times a million! Pick yourself up and get back in the game. Do better next time.

Have great support – Friends that love and support marriage and professional help when needed.

Go to workshops, read books, listen to great resources.

No cheating, just don’t. It’s a reflection of you, not them, always.

Always grow you. Make yourself better as a person. Fill your own cup and overflow to the other person so you are not a martyr, because you can never give from an empty well. No one else can fill you. But you can be filled and overflow and bless and love and it will never be unmatched. Love yourself and the gift of your life well.

Communicate well. Set weekly times to communicate and daily connect. Be open, use I statements. “I feel.”

Consider the partnership. Be a true partner.

Don’t expect perfection.

Do small things for each other.

Do big things for each other.

Get outside together. Be healthy together.

Encourage and build each other up.

Play everyday. Flirt, have fun, play games, laugh, tell jokes, life is too short to be serious all the time! Bring the laughter to the game.

Hug, kiss, and have lots of sex! It’s healthy. Healing, connecting. You never know when it will be over and you will miss those kisses! If you aren’t happy in this, talk gently about it, seek some healthy resources. Find some qualified help. This should be a joy and life giving in a committed relationship.

Grow together, explore new things, approach marriage and the world with wanderlust.

Have plans, but live today. What happens today can change plans, but today is golden!

Say I am sorry a lot!

Don’t hold grudges!

Forgive a lot!!

When you mess up, go easy, and just do the work of making it right.

Give closeness and some room to breathe.

Don’t put another human above your spouse. There are degrees of friendships we all have, but your marriage partner is most sacred.

Cook together.

Hold hands a lot!

Work towards reconciliation.

Always date each other.